The Wireless Scavenger

I am sitting in a parking lot of a pub in small town, USA. I saw a flyer in their bathroom last week that said free wireless.

Starbucks is a horrible rip off and they want to charge you to use the internet. Next, they will try to charge you a cover fee just to walk in the door - mark my words.

I decided to see if I could just get the pub's internet signal from the parking lot and hopefully there'd be no security. It is my lucky day - as you can see. I am doing a blog entry.

But now, I am really paranoid. Drunk people keep walking out. They don't seem to notice me.

Uh oh. A guy who works there is taking out the trash. He is walking this way. * I quickly shut off the laptop and pretend to write in my notebook *

Oh, great job Heather! Now instead of thinking I am stealing internet he will think I am a stalker.

2100 hours - subject walks large rubbermaid trashcan full of bottles out to a non-recycling dumpster.

Damn! He will probably say something. Maybe I can move to the adjacent parking lot and still get a signal.

As I burn rubber to get out of there quickly, I realize that I should try and act nonshalant.

Ok good. Signal is good over here. But, uh oh. There is a cop car. Did they call the cops?! Is it illegal to use someone's wireless signal?

Oh, he is just getting pizza at the pizza parlor I am next to.

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Obviously I have been very paranoid lately. I need to chill. I am making everyone at work less relaxed. Which is horrible because it is such a relaxed and easy going workplace and I am fucking it up with my psycho energy levels and anxious paranoid behavior.

Well, my milk that I just bought is getting cold.

Note to self- buy milk after stealing internet next time