I've been doing better about the eating healthier fruits and veggies thing. I still have a long way to go, but I am moving in the right direction. It has been way easier to eat good during the day at work. If I bring in healthy food I will eat it. The hard part of the day is when I get home from work. I am so drained. I just feel like stuffing my face with whatever is handy. Today I had Doritos handy. Luckily, tomorrow is a new day.
I went to see my family in Virginia. My step-sis is in the hospital. Psych ward. She is getting ECT (electro-shock) for her depression because nothing else is working. She seems to be doing much better. Although, she didn't blink the entire time I was visiting with her. I guess the real test will be when she is back in society and out of the hospital. Hopefully she will do better then too. Everyone in the family has pretty much lost all faith and respect in her. I think this is a real turning point. If she doesn't get better after this I think everyone will be convinced she just doesn't want to get better. She has been using mental issues as an excuse not to function as a regular person for the past ten years or more.
I feel really bad for her 2 year old son. HE doesn't know what's going on, but this has to be affecting him on some very deep level. It's weird because our memories don't begin until age 4 or so. But all this crap is happening to him now. 25 years from know when he is on some therapist's couch he won't be able to point back to this time and say "i am really screwed up because my mother decided she regretted having me when I was 18 months. She then ignored my existence for the next year - hoping I would disappear if she just didn't acknowledge me."
Too bad. I think something like that would be useful to remember and express.
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